S-S-S-Simon

I find myself, here at 4am on a Sunday night, playing music through Last.fm.
For some reason I decided to start playing all the metal/nu-metal songs I used to listen to when I was a wee teenager.

It's nice to reminice about days gone by (the good and the bad) and also to catch up on those bands new songs.

I must admit I could do this at anytime of the day, 4am would be the ideal time to be asleep, really...

That about sums me up.

For those doing the ignoring!

I'm ever so slightly cheesed off at the moment.
The agency hasn't gotten back to me yet!

It's ever so slightly disconcerting when people do this to me. I have an innate tendency to be incredibly impatient. I can be a real stickler for punctuality as well!

I really thought they would be the one recruitment agency I was registered with that would actually talk to me and help me out and not be just a one trick pony. What does that say about my judge of character, though?

Anyway. I have been kind of having an affair, dear LJ. Over the last week or so I have been predominantly posting on my Blog.
Don't worry, I am still going to use you for personal musings and such-like. That blog is for mostly ranting and general day-to-day observations.

Don't be mislead, I don't favour either of you. I hold you both in the same regard. You each have a use the other doesn't.

I'm off to get a muffin!

I couldn't find the bottle to call them, so I emailed them again.

THEY ONLY FUCKING REPLIED THIS TIME!

They've asked me to forward my new CV.

More on this story as it unfolds.

I don't have the foggiest clue what the blinking hellfish is going on, Jim.

Why in the name of all that is fishy is it December?
What is wrong with this world?!?!

I can't keep going on like this anymore.
This time 365 short days ago I was quite content with life, things had started to pick up and all was right with the world.
Now, as the end of this year looms I seem to be back at Go without £200 and no get out of jail free card!

This is a real noggin scratcher.

I need to up my game, I need to put everything into gear, I need to... to... to stop using euphamisms and get the hell on with it!

I have sent my old recruitment agency no less than 3 emails over the last 2 months and had piddle squat back from them. Tomorrow, sir, I will call them. Ever since leaving CPW I have developed a bit of a phobia when it comes to talking to people on the phone. I've never really been able to hold myself verbally. I'm at my best when it's my fingers doing the talking.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'll have to communicate with my mouth-hole.

I don't like it, sir.
Not one bit.

"12 Stages, 3 Days, Open Air, Belter!"

And yes, it was!
There was rain, there was sun, there was lots of beer amongst certain other things.

Thursday we set off from Abscond HQ towards Paddington Station to catch a train to the Festival.
The weather was amazingly warm and bright. We all crammed ourselves as tightly as we could into the smallest section of the Underground train; pissing off a few late rush hour passengers as we went!

After much traveling, ticket buying, Sainsburys robbing and commuter terrorising we finally boarded a train and headed to Glade.

The sun she was shining, the excitement was brewing and the beer finding party (Adam, James, Tom and myself) got lost looking for an off licence.
Don't worry, we found one!
Adam, James and me went looking for drink while Tom went off to steal some lunch/breakfast.

After attacking Co-Op's alcohol supply we went next door to buy some insect repellent (smart move by James) and Tom stole some sunglasses (he really will nick anything that's not nailed down... even then I reacon he'd still give it a try!!).

We headed back to the station and the bus that transported you to the festival - which had already got quite a few people onboard already.
Naomi & crew had saved the weary gatherers some space to rest ourselves on the journey; and off we set.

We were in the queue crowed to get in for a good 2 hours (during which time we did get quite a bit tipsy. It was all good. We met Ella and randoms and people generally ready to have a good time.

We passed through Security (they didn't even check my ticket or search me!) and headed up the hill to find our camp.

We pitched up, drank some more and went off exploring. The rest of that day and night is kind of a blurr.
I do remember me and Tom getting spectacularly lost met up with a group of girls who rescued us and took us to their camp where Tom (as he had been doing all day) introduced me as "Token".
We stood there for a good 10 seconds then wandered off again (I don't think the girls even realised...).
I also remember eating a lot of sausage and mash (apparently I ordered Naomi not to let me drink anymore and promptly went off to the bar again. "After this one!" was my protest).

That night the skys opened and we all dived into our tents and went to bed.

The next morning we woke up and it was still raining so we headed down to the supply shop to get wellies and rainproofs and made off in the direction of the Chai tent.
It was nice, moderatly warm and very entertaining in there.
We saw this guy (who was the first act on stage at the whole festival):



The rain eventually stopped and we went out in search of entertainment.

In the evening a load of us went to Bangface at the Overkill Tent. That was loads of fun, I had a really good night.

Saturday I was still high from the night before so I spent the whole day out raving in various tents and having a jolly good time of it.
Then the comedown hit me and I went to sleep.

On Sunday it was all a bing mongy.
We went and saw a bit of Four Tet and Squarepusher.
The journey home was a bit manic but we got back... just!

So, In attendance we had:
Abi
Adam
Adam
Andy
Arlan
Becki
Cindy
Dru
Fiachra
Frank
JC
Jess
Jon
Lil
Marcia
Steve
Sarah
Sarah
Smiler
and yours truely.

It was an amazing weekend, and I can't wait for next year!!

It's all very lame.
Different shapes, sizes, colours and textures.
Lame.

Yes, I am still alive. Alive and very very bored.

Arrgh.

Honey, I'm home!

I have returned from my totally sweet weekend in Brighton.

Friday me and Adam headed on down after work.
We met Xenia and went to Subway and then off to a pub to meet Tom and all his work mates.

We had a drink there and moved on to another pub.
We were sat in a very stuffy little room had a pint there and then headed down to the beach to one of the sea-front bars.

A lot of wrestling occurred. My glasses got broke :(

Me and Adski went to Hels and bedded down to watch some Delirious.

Saturday we got up and had a shower (not together) and headed down to the beach and then off to do some shopping.
In the evening we had a BBQ up at Xens. It was hella fun. Lots of laughs and lots of card gaming... In my pants.

On Sunday we went down to the beach had a bit of a swim and headed off in search of food.

The Jamaica Inn was not serving food so we went to a very nice pub and had a gorgeous roast and a few beers.

Then Slader and myself said our farewells to Tom and Xen then headed off.
En Route to the station we stopped off for a pint and a chill (lots of cycling tires you out dontchaknow?).
On our return to LDN we dud a load more cycling around looking for a station to get on the train.
We decided to head for Liverpool Street (yay yet more cycling).

I got home at about 12.30, after dropping the bikes off at Abscond HQ.

It was a total arsekicker of a weekend.
It's helped me make up my mind about the whole moving thing.

I've done a lot of thinking and have made my decision.
Time to work out a saving scheme!

It's all getting a bit too much to handle.

I've had just about enough over the last year or so and to be frank, I've given up trying.

All I do is put up with all the shit I get thrown at me; not any more.

Work, home and friends. I don't want to do this any more... I want to be me again.
I've been talking to both Xen and Tom about this a lot recently and they both say to me the same thing.

Ditch it all and start fresh, in Brighton.
Well, that's what I'm going to do. To be honest I've been thinking about it for a while. But I'm thinking a lot more seriously about it now.

Sure, I've just settled in to a new job and am on the verge of going a lot further with that. Am I willing to give it all up just because I want a new start?
Hell yes.

Home life aint too hot either at the moment.
Can I long all that off and get on with my life, without running around tidying everyone elses up?
Hell yes.

My friends.
Two of my best friends live in Brighton already.
Can I leave the ones I have here?
I'm not sure.

Can I afford to do all of this, financialy?
Quite possibly. If I can land right on my feet as soon as I move.

The main question I'm asking myself...
Am I ready?
More than.

I need to think some more on this...

Well, not we more just me.
I'm so sick of living in London.
It bores me to tears sometimes. I'm just so fed up with life here.

I really need a change of scenery, a new life.

I don't know what's brought this on but I can't deal with it anymore.

Sure, I have everything set up here: A job, a house and groups of friends.
Am I willing to sacrifice that for my own sense of sanity?
I would say "yes".

I've had as much as I can take of this shitty city.

It's so over-rated.
The night life is dull, the weather is always shit, the atmosphere is always moggy and polluted and the people are either homeless or on smack or both.

I think it's time for me to fully analyse my situation, what I want to do, where I want to be and go.

Yet more shit for me to fill my head with.
DAMN THE HEAD SHIT!

Oh, and Big Brother SUCKS

That is all.

I needed something to cheer me up as I’m still feeling extremely shit at the moment.

So I went shopping!

I went to Walthamstow to help distract me and to take my mind off everything.
I got into the shopping centre and went to River Island… BUT IT WAS CLOSED!
Curses.
They are renovating it (or so the sign said), which was a bummer!
So I went next door to Topman.
I picked myself up a new pair of jeans, a new cardigan, a waistcoat, a new hat and a pair of jigsaw cuff links.

All in all totalling £93!

The woman serving me tried to sign me up to the store credit card. I said no at first but then bet her if she could fill the form out and get it all set up in three minutes I would take it.

She failed, she did it all in 7 minutes. Plus she said it didn’t go through anyway.
Dodged a bullet there…

On my way home I walked past a group of Christian street singers (there’s a Speakers Corner in Walthamstow).
They were doing some rap along to Limp Bizkit’s Rollin’.

It was quite funny, I had to stand and watch for a bit.

That’s about it.
It didn’t really help. Still have everything in my head.
Never mind!

Remember how happy I was?
Remember how I said nothing could spoil my life?

It just has.

For the last 2 months I have been the happiest I have ever known myself to be.
Nothing could bring me down or make me quite as depressed as I used to get.
All that's changed now.

Work sucks, I'm single and my heart is completely broken.

The best thing that has ever happened to me has been completely ruined.

It's what he wants, it's not what I want. But hey, who am I to argue?

Ok so today I have been thinking about what to do for my birthday this year.
This is what I've come up with so far:






That's right, diddly squat!
I'm thinking something that involves people. In a place. Yeah.

In other news I've had a poo week. Work is damn weak.

I want to move departments ASAP.

I'm gonna do some more thunking.

Today was the quarterly contact centre conference day.
There were two. One for the whole centre and one for our department.

The one in the morning was the biggest pile of bovine faeces ever. We gained diddle from it.
The department conference was pretty cool. They did a whole recap and went over how well we'd moved on from previous years and went over what's up and coming.

Very beneficial.

Between conferences I was still on the phones though. I had a few really good calls, the rest were mind-numbing and quite frankly irritating.
I've only been doing the job for a few months and already I feel like I'm ready for either the 'Next Step Program' or just to move departments altogether.
I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, considering I'm still on probation!
I'd quite like to work in Commercial. It's a full on challenge plus you don't encounter the same shit everyday.

My manager has buggered off for a month on honeymoon now, so I wont be able to go over anything with her in my monthly sit-downs (which we missed for some reason last month!).

I went to the pub to see Tom for a few drinks last night.
I actually managed to have a full five minute chat with him about him moving last night.
He filled me in on the full reason he's moving. It's opened my eyes and I totally support him now.
Doesn't stop the fact I don't want him to go!!

It's all gravy though.

I stopped mid-blog to call Xenginge. Had a nice little chat; albeit completely random (but that's to be expected from us).

I then called Sam too see if he'd got his Glade ticket. He thinks he has. he can't remember... Silly monkey!

Oh fart. I'm going away now!

It seems to me that while I'm just getting my life back on track and getting back to my old self everyone else is moving on with theirs.

With Sam going off to Spain in a few months I was relying on the backup and support of all my friends.
Today I learned that Tom is also heading off to Brighton with Xenballs at the end of the week.

I'm not quite sure where to go from here...

It's great for Tom because I know that, like me, he's been in a bit of a rutt lately as well.
It'll be wicked for him to get the break he's been looking for.

Man, this fucking sucks. Why do I take everything for granted?

I've also just realised: I'm twenty-two in four weeks... Where the hell has this year gone?!
Must make Birthday plans.

Ok, So at this present moment I'm tidying up my room (I don't know why) and as I sit here having a breather and a glass of coke I start a thinking to myself.
I often have random thoughts to myself but I often just let them stay in my head and bounce around in my little box.

But this one I feel needs to be let out.

I'm sat here with my coke; covered in dust, fluff, bits of my brothers old sponge football and copper coins stuck to whatever part of my body touches the ground and I think: "Why are films that were made in the 1980's so much better than some of the ones coming out these days?"

Take, for example, The Goonies, Back to the Future, Labyrinth and The Breakfast Club.
All kick ass films, all with gripping plots, Class A actors and the best soundtracks of all time.

Now, modern day cinema isn't bad, I'm not knocking it. But! Hi-tech gadgets, trips to space, killer viruses and teenage wizards have nothing on radioactive plutonium fuled cars, Saturday detentions and lets not for get The Truffle Shuffle. We all have to evolve, right?
The thing is. Films like these are the trend setters. The ones that everyone aspires to follow on from. But nobody can!

As you all know I love films. I love all types of media (I often wonder why I didn't take Media at 6th Form?); but over the last seven years in particular there haven't been any that I would sit down and watch again in twenty years. Well, I lie. There are a small handful.

The calibre of the films that were made and released in the '80's can't be matched nowadays.
The sad fact of the matter is, it can't be done. No matter how hard writers, directors or producers try. They can't.

I really want to go into more depth on the subject, but my words have failed me again. Damn them.

Anyway, thems is my musings. Back to the dust and carnage!

Obligatory journal entry as I haven't really posted much lately.

Things are happening in my life.
Some of them are good, others are bad.

One of the things is that this week I have been given roles that the seniors do in our department.
It's both good and bad.
It's good because it means I can get the experience I need to become a senior myself.
It's also good because it means I don't have to be on the phones much.

It's bad because it makes Simon tired.
It's also bad because it means I have to take escelations, although I'm good at escelations I still don't like people getting their arses in a twist because I've repeated exactly what the advisor before me did and they didn't get their own way.

The personal life is going well (despite having £3 in my bank accounts). I can't wait for Monday (whoever thought they'd here someone say that?!).

Anyway, I will probably have loads of stuff to do tomorrow so I'm going to bed.

As you were!

I came into a rather obscure realisation this evening.
I've been running away from everything my whole life, more recently however I seem to be running into things.

I don't mean literly running into things ("Ohhh French windows *runs* Owww!") but actual problems.
Tackling them head-on... Well... I say that. But I'm lying.

There is one that I've been on the verge of for a while now (yes it's one of those entries - again). I dunno what to do if I'm honest.
I know I have so much love and support from everyone around me, I know what the reaction will be. I JUST CAN'T FUCKING DO IT!

It just seems impossible for me to start the conversation rolling. I actually came within an inch of saying it this evening and dork walked in with a cup of coffee.

I think I'm going to go back to Plan A (for those of you who remember) that was a good plan.

Gah. Who throws a shoe? Honestly!

Bloody Xbox!!! My thumbs hurt :(

Must remember to make some form of contact with Adam before Friday.
Perhaps telepathy?

Oh well, March on!

GLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!